Read This Book . . .

Carlisle Martin grew up spending the school year with her mother in the midwest and returning to New York City to spend summers with her father, Robert, and his partner, James. As a kid, Carlisle spent as much time as possible in the dance studio, training to be a ballerina like her mother. Carlisle becomes determined to make a life from her art.

The novel splits into two, jumping forward in time to Carlisle at 40, estranged from her father for some unknown reason. She works as a choreographer in Hollywood, creating uninspiring dance numbers. Then she receives a call that will change her life: her father is dying, James says. He doesn’t have long. As we move back and forth between Carlisle’s past and present, we begin to learn more about her family, their history, and how her relationship with her father deteriorated. 

Howrey’s focus on character makes this novel shine. Even when Carlisle is at her most unlikeable, she’s so well drawn, a flawed and complex human being. The characters in this book are so beautiful; you just want them to have honest conversations about their lives. But that’s not how life works for them.

Carlisle grows up during the AIDS crisis of the 80s and 90s, with a gay dad and stepdad. As a kid, she didn’t really understand what was going on. But the sections of the novel from her perspective add another layer to her understanding of her childhood. By the end of this book, I had tears streaming down my face as I felt deeply for Carlisle and her family. My heart broke for her. I hung on every word until the very last page.

If you love a novel that will rip your heart out only to mend it again, this is the story for you.